


Because I Love You

by yaoihandschan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (It Depends On Who You Ask...), Bondage, Kidnapping, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, OCD, Other, Overstimulation, POV Alternating, Prostate Milking, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, S&M, Stockholm Syndrome, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Toys, Unsafe S&M, happy ending??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:53:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8688448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaoihandschan/pseuds/yaoihandschan
Summary: Bucky has been waiting, planning, and fantasizing. And now Steve will be his.





	1. Watch

**Author's Note:**

> there's something really wrong with me.

Bucky watches him through the yoga studio window from his own apartment window, just like every other Tuesday. Bucky nearly blows his load in his pants as he watches Steve’s display of flexibility. It’s unsurprising, considering he’s been near constant hardness since he had woken up that morning and looked at his phone, realizing what day it was. Bucky slips his hand inside his boxers, cupping his swollen cock. He gives it an aggressive squeeze as Steve bends over, giving Bucky a tantalizing view of his ass, clad simply in leggings. Bucky likes to imagine he only has a jockstrap beneath.

Bucky lowers his boxers’ elastic so it is held underneath his balls. He begins to jerk himself in long strokes, enjoying the feeling of the warmth around his cock. He refuses to close his eyes as Steve lowers onto his stomach, lifting his torso with his arms, inadvertently making his ass flex. Bucky lets out a moan as he grips his cock with both hands, imagining slipping into that perfect ass. He reaches for his lube, always by the windowsill for Tuesdays and Saturdays. Bucky pours lube along his dick and spreads it. When he’s satisfied, he reaches for the flashjack on the windowsill. Bucky slides the tip of his cock up and down against the furl of the fleshjack.

“You ready, baby?” Bucky whispers as he slips his cock inside the toy.

He gives a grunt of pleasure, “so tight for me, Stevie…”

He jerks the toy on his cock, nearing his orgasm quicker than he would like. He moves the toy faster along his cock as he reaches down to fondle his balls. He gives them a tug and moans as he feels the pleasure build in his lower back. He feels his balls tighten and his hips thrust.

Bucky gives a grunt of, “Steve,” as his cum shoots into the toy.

Once Bucky finishes cumming inside the toy comes the overwhelming sense of being unsatisfied, niggling at the back of his mind. The only thing that keeps his anger at bay is the fact that soon enough Steve will be his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. it's really gonna kickoff soon y'all  
> 2\. Leave kudos and comments, they boost my self-esteem


	2. Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of obsession.

It had started for Bucky two years ago. He was at the grocery store, the disgusting grocery store. Bucky could feel the germs crawling on his skin. He wanted to hurl, but because it was the week before Thanksgiving, curbside grocery pick-up wasn’t available, and he was almost out of soap and food. He wouldn’t have enough to last him until curbside pick-up was available again. But the idea of another person entering his house to bring him his groceries was an even more disgusting option.

Left with no other choice, Bucky ventured into the grocery store. But he had miscalculated how long it would take to get out of the store. He’d almost made it out, but as he stood in line for check-out, someone’s bastard child had thrown up on his shoe. He had a moment to almost marvel at the pink color of it before he collapsed.

He awoke to harsh florescent lights, forcing him to squint until his eyes could adjust. While they do, he realizes he’s lying on a cot, probably festering with other’s dead skin and bacteria. He quickly gets up, but his vision goes blurry, forcing him to sit back down on the bed.

“Woah, woah,” he hears as a hand enters his field of vision.

“Don’t touch me!” he screams before the hand can grip him.

“Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t going to,” Bucky looks up to meet the eyes of an angel, “if it makes you feel better, I have gloves on.”

The other man raises his hands and wiggles his fingers, displaying his gloves. He offers Bucky a smile and before he realizes it he’s relaxing.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” the angel continues, “I’m Steve, Steve Rogers, pleasure to meet you.”

Steve is a slight man; Bucky figures he barely reaches 5 foot 9. He’s got straw blonde hair and he looks like a strong breeze could knock him over. Steve, waits for his response, but Bucky is so dumbstruck he can’t respond. Bucky takes too long because Steve continues.

“You collapsed in the store, you really scared a lot of people. I’m the manager on duty; if you’d like, I can call an ambulance, if not, you’re free to go whenever you want.”

“Bucky,” he blurts out, startling Steve.

Steve gives a good-natured laugh, causing Bucky to feel warmth not only in his face and his heart, but between his legs.

“It’s nice to meet you Bucky,” Steve doesn’t put his hand out for a hand shake, but instead offers his gloved fist for a fist-bump. Bucky is almost over-whelmed by Steve’s thoughtfulness. Bucky returns the fist-bump and offers what he’s sure is a dumb smile. Steve doesn’t falter in offering a smile in return.

“I should go,” Bucky stands quickly, feeling himself begin to get hard.

“Your groceries,” Steve starts, causing Bucky to pause, “They’re bagged and in your cart.”

Before Bucky can start to feel sick, Steve says, “I bagged them, if that makes you feel better.”

Oddly enough, it does. Bucky gives a terse nod and leaves the office. Everything is a blur until Bucky reaches his apartment, throwing his bags into the kitchen. He rushes into his bedroom, removing his clothing along the way. He digs through his nightstand, erratically searching for his lube. Unable to find it, he settles for the unscented lotion on the top of the nightstand.

He gives three pumps and collapses onto the bed. He begins to furiously jerk himself off, picturing Steve’s pretty face as he does. He doesn’t get more than four full strokes before he’s cumming all over his fist and stomach. Bucky can’t do much but lay there and catch his breath. And for the first time in his life, Bucky wonders what it would feel like to fuck another human-being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. it's really gonna kickoff soon y'all  
> 2\. Leave kudos and comments, they boost my self-esteem


	3. Learn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky works hard for his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short ch.

From that day on, Bucky’s obsession only grew. A month later he couldn’t handle it anymore, so on a Wednesday, one of the slowest days at the store, he wakes up at 3 am. He gets dressed, packs some meals and drives down to the grocery store. He was parked in the parking lot by 4 am, two hours before the store even opened. He turns off the car and began his wait. A few cars joined Bucky around 5 am, he assumes they were the opening crew.

Bucky pulls out his breakfast and watches the doors obediently. Around 12 pm some more employees show up, but none of them were his angel, he’d know. When another shift shows up around 2:30, Bucky begins to lose hope and patience, and with it, his fragile rationality. What if he didn’t work today? Around 3 pm, Bucky began to feel a rage build in him. Sub-consciously he knew his anger wasn’t warranted, but his mind was rushing of thoughts of ‘how dare he not show up.’ And ‘who does he think he is?’

His thoughts continue to spiral, but at 4 pm, a red 1997 Chevy pick-up pulls into the parking lot. And out climbs Steve Rogers. Bucky feels the breath leave his lungs. Steve is clad in form fitting black slacks and a blue button up. Bucky feels his cock stir in his pants, but there are more important things for him to do right now. Bucky pulls out his spiral and a pencil to write down Steve’s license plate number.

Bucky feels his excitement grow at this new information. Satisfied with seeing Steve again and accomplishing his mission, Bucky makes his way back to his apartment. Once back in his apartment, Bucky boots up his desktop computer. While he waits, he washes his hands three times, afterwards he applies his lotion to keep his hands from getting cracked. Seated in front of his computer, Bucky pulls up his only favorited tab, Steve’s Facebook page. He scrolls through his posts. Nothing of importance to note.

Bucky clicks on Steve’s pictures, no new pictures, so Bucky continues to the picture he’s saved onto his computer. Steve, clad in only leggings and tennis shoes. The warmth of his smile even transmitting through the screen. Bucky palms his hardening erection in his jeans, but he can’t let himself get too distracted, he’s got something to do. He goes to google and simply types in ‘License plate number look-up’.

He types in the seven digits he wrote down today and waits impatiently. His waiting yields results because two websites and a credit card number later, Bucky is rewarded with Steve’s address. Bucky is overcome with excitement. He doesn’t know exactly what he’ll do with this yet, but he’ll definitely make good use of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i am creeping myself out  
> 2\. i can't write an essay for college to save my life, but damn can i write fanfic (lmao)  
> 3\. leave comments and kudos, they fuel my ego.


	4. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky only wants to make Steve happy.

Bucky’s opportunity makes itself known to him three weeks later. It comes in the form of Steve making a Facebook post. Steve gripes about the need of finding a new yoga studio for higher level yogis. Bucky does a quick search of yoga studios near his apartment, and it’s fate, because there’s a studio located right across from his apartment building. Bucky quickly prints out a flier he finds on the home page of the yoga website.

Bucky spends the next hour brainstorming on how to get this flier to Steve inconspicuously. It’s when he starts to feel frustrated he realizes what he’ll do. Bucky prints more copies of the same flier and keeps them in a neat stack on the left side of his desk. He feels excitement send tingles throughout his whole body. He feels fidgety and his skin too tight. He stands up and paces, mind filled of thoughts of watching his angel from not-so-far. Steve, in tight pants, bending and folding into different poses. Agile body pulled taught, face flush from exertion.

Bucky feels a now familiar tingling between his legs. Bucky makes his way to his bedroom, letting his imagination continue. Steve, doing the splits, naked, sweaty, and panting. Bucky feels his cock throb between his legs. He removes his lube and his newly acquired fleshjack. He shoves the fleshjack between the mattress and box spring. Bucky unbuttons his pants and cannot get out of them quickly enough. He makes sure to put them and his wet boxers into the hamper.

He makes his way back to the bed, cock straining as his mind wanders. He can see it, Steve lying spread eagle on his bed, spreading his cheeks to display his eager, pink hole to him. Bucky reaches for the lube on the bed, squirting some into his palm. At this point, Bucky’s cock is dribbling so much pre-cum he could easily slip into the toy, but he wants it to feel real. So he takes the warming lube and spreads it generously over his dick.

Bucky collapses to his knees at the edge of the bed. He grips the base of his cock and teases his tip slightly into the hole. Bucky imagines Steve letting out a wanton moan at Bucky’s teasing. Bucky, never one to keep his sweetheart wanting and empty, thrusts his cock fully into the fleshjack. He lets out a pathetic moan and begins to furiously hump into the toy. He is unable to give full thrusts because he is unwilling to leave the tight, warm feeling of Steve’s insides.

Bucky grips the sheets and continues to give short, sharp thrusts. Bucky can hear Steve’s begging cries for Bucky to fill him. He can only hold out for three more thrusts before he’s pushing in deep and filling the toy. He lets out a whimpered “Steve,” as his balls tremble, emptying completely. It’s the strongest orgasm Bucky has had in his life, and he whites out.

When Bucky comes back to himself he realizes it’s dark outside. He looks at the bedside clock; it flashes 8:00 pm in red numbers. Bucky places the fleshjack in the dishwasher and turns it on. Once he’s finished, he makes his way to the bathroom. As he waits for the water to warm, he finalizes his plan in his head. At 3 am, he’ll make his way to Steve’s neighborhood where he will strategically place a flier on each neighbor’s car, so it will not be so conspicuous. Bucky is so pleased from the plan the disgusting feeling of his cum matting his trimmed pubic hair is the only thing to pull him from his reverie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. only one more ch. after this for exposition and back story, then the bad stuff and longer porn is coming  
> 2\. leave comments and kudos, they're the only things that motivate me.


	5. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky spares no expense in making his angel happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some exposition and back story.  
> minor character death.

For the next couple of months, Bucky fucks his fleshjack so often that his cock is raw, but that still didn’t stop him. Steve had started attending classes at the studio across the street. Now, Bucky is unsatisfied with simply fucking the fleshjack, he wants the real thing. So he starts to plan; first he looks for toys, gags and bondage. That stuff is easy enough for Bucky to find and order online.

Next, he researches how exactly two men have sex. He reads in depth how a bottom should be prepped for raw sex. Bucky begins to shop online for the supplies needed to prep a bottom, including shower attachments and water based lube. After he orders the necessary supplies, Bucky realizes he’s not exactly sure how to pleasure Steve so he eventually ends up on a porn site. The first video he watches makes him want to hurl, but he needs to get through it, for Steve.

And that’s when an idea strikes him; as he watches he imagines it’s himself fingering Steve open, licking in to him, fucking him, making him desperate, and that gets Bucky excited. No matter how excited he gets, he refuses to touch himself. He knows if he does, he’ll stop paying attention to the screen and get lost in his own fantasy. He can’t let himself be swept away by his own pleasure, his angel deserves the best. Besides, he’s decided to save his cum for the show Steve puts on for him on Tuesday’s and Saturday’s.

Thirdly, Bucky looks for a house in a secluded area. He imagines Steve is a screamer, and the last thing they will need is someone mistaking Stevie’s screams of pleasures for screams of help and interrupting their honeymoon. Bucky finds the perfect cabin in upstate New York. Bucky makes the purchase over the phone, paying in full.

Bucky has never had to struggle for money. When he was 18 his mother, father and sister were all driving up to visit him in Maine, where he had been attending the University of Maine. At that point, Bucky’s OCD had been present, but manageable. Along the way a truck driver had fallen asleep at the wheel, 18-wheeler veering into the next lane, causing his family to swerve into a ditch. His mother had been the only one to make it to the hospital alive. When Bucky had heard, he’d rushed down to the hospital. He felt claustrophobic the moment he stepped foot into the hospital, but he wouldn’t let his disorder keep him from seeing his mother.

For the next week, he slept in the chair by his mother’s bedside. On the eighth night, his mother flat lined. The doctors did what they could to resuscitate her, but all attempts failed. Bucky clutched her hand until it turned cold. And in that moment, Bucky was overcome with the need to vomit. He couldn’t stand to be in that disease infected building anymore. From that night on, Bucky’s OCD only continued to spiral out of control, forcing him to drop out of college and move back to Brooklyn, the only home he'd known. However, he refused to step foot into the family home. He used his college fund to rent his current apartment and he bought all new furniture. He hired a garbage company to throw out all of his and his family's belongings and hired a realtor to sell the house. Bucky doesn't think about that house often, and the only time he thinks of his family is when he wakes up hyperventilating from a nightmare of being in that hospital and watching his mother die. He collects both disability as well as money from the case he won against Stark Inc.

Bucky forces himself back to the present with a shake of his head. He had a couple more things he needed to order. First, a bottle of Viagra, he knows his Stevie has poor circulation, and he wouldn’t want him to not fully enjoy the pleasure Bucky gives him. And for the second, Bucky would have to go to the dark web for, medical grade sedatives. He’d need his angel as relaxed as possible, to completely give himself over to Bucky. Satisfied with his supplies, Bucky makes his way to his bedroom. He dresses for bed and falls asleep that night with a grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i hope y'all have read the tags, because they become apart of the story in the next chapter.  
> 2\. if you feel triggered by non-con stories, please stop reading.  
> 3\. the next chapter should be up by tomorrow at the latests. but i'm hoping for tonight, if i can work this porn out in my head properly.  
> 4\. please leave kudos and comments, they excite me ;)


End file.
